I used to be quite active in high school Back when my metabolic rate was faster I was always quite stocky But I was pretty good at hockey I avoided white bread, potatoes and pasta
I used to be an average mammal I was no Jesse Owens but I wasn't John Candy I was never that attractive But I was reasonably active I sure wasn't synonymous with lazy
I don't think I'm that apathetic I'll admit I'm not particularly ambitious But the fact that on the ground I don't break the speed of sound Is typical of megalonychidae choloepus
Oh God, were you really being fair When you named the land animals and birds of the air Did you stop to think: \"That's a bit rough\" Naming that poor little fella a sloth?
Pigeonholing should be left for pigeons And frankly I'm starting to get sick Of being labelled by the number of my toes And the fact that on the ground I'm not that quick
I can't think of any other creatures around Who are forced to share their name with a sin There's a pride of lions sure, but that's a collective noun They don't have a greed or a lust at the Singapore Zoo And Tim Roth isn't spelt with a W
And just in case I wasn't disadvantaged enough You blessed me with only three toes That are actually too claw like to grab on to stuff And this simian face and this damn ursine nose to top it off Oh, and then you went and called me a sloth
Lord, I have always done my best This cross that I bear has put hair on my chest And with the three claws that you gave me I've clawed my way up to the top of the tree But up here I'm tired and I'm lonely as well I've got few slothy friends and no slothy girl
It's really quite tough Being a three toed sloth In this five fingered hustle bustle world