This is a song for Phil Daoust Occasional Guardian newspaper journal-oust I never ever ever mentioned your name Or the review that you wrote, when I was new to this game
But now the time has come I think I've dealt with my feelings at last I really wanna forgive ya, Phil Yeah, I wanna put the past in the past-a
Oh, and as this is London town I thought I outta take the opportunity 'Cause there's a pretty good chance Somebody out there will know you Maybe they will pass on a message for me
Just wanna say, Phil Daoust Occasional Guardian newspaper journal-oust That it's been three years since you wrote it And time is very healing But I still wanna cut big chunks of flesh out of your stupid face And make your children watch while I force you to eat them Yeah, I wanna make your children watch you eat your own face-meat
Ding dang, ding dang dong This is my Phil Daoust song Everybody sing along La-la-la-la-la-la-la I hope one of your family members dies Phil, ding dang dong I've written you this special song To help you get the attention You obviously, desperately lack
And I know that you're a smart man And with such a fine mind, I guess it has to be hard To resist throwing narcissistic, intellectual tantrums In the supermarket aisles of your self-regard
Just wanna say, Phil Daoust I know it must be really hard to be a journal-oust While a deadline's always looming, and the pressure to be entertaining So maybe you should quit and get a job that you'd be better at Like killing yourself, you fucking cunt
Ding dang, ding dang dong This is my Phil Daoust song Everybody sing along Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la I hope something you love catches on fire Phil, ding dang dong I've written you this special song To show how far I've come along In my efforts to be more mature in the face of negative feedback