Your mother gives the bathroom door A final and desperate yankin' - I been caught wankin' "What's taking so long?!" she'd implore 'Cept here's something she's not seen before Oh man, you been caught wankin' I been caught wankin'
It's probably pretty Freudian But its happened to every man I been caught wankin' Someone walks too suddenly in And you're left standin' with a silly grin And your dodger's still in your hand
I just been readin' N.M.E 'Bout what lately has got cred They been caught wankin' Look, its true that it might just be me But I tell you what, as far as I can see They're massaging Kojak's head They been caught wankin' He's a bloke you could meet any day Last names? - hey, just drop it He been caught wankin' "Tom and Nicole" he'll often say
In his own familiar nice bloke way Hey Ray - get your hand off it Been caught wankin'
We all saw the funeral for Lady Di And didn't you just want to barf? They been caught wankin' The media all with their snouts in the sty Crocodile tears caught in their eyes You had to be heartless not to laugh They been caught wankin'
Why is it just so hard not to gag When a rock star adopts some big issue? Rock star, caught wankin' "No animal cruelty" they're likely to brag But later they'll put a fish up some slag For godsakes, who's taken all the tissues? Rock star, caught wankin'
A bad boy image does no real harm So by all means, go be caught stealin' You been caught wankin' Go be caught crackin' car alarms Be caught with a needle stuck up your arm - Just don't be caught with spoof on the ceilin' Been caught wankin'