Just when I find comfort in everything around me I stop myself from stopping. Always looking forward, while missing the past, more precious opportunities slip through my grasp. I know that I am trying, forcing myself to go out, to socialize to meet new people. And though I am met with positive reception I can never shake off this horrible feeling that crawls down my neck, ensuring my continued discomfort. As I find that I am accepted into others lives I fear any eventual outcome. Burdened by the thoughts of my failure I cling to any solid foundation that I can find. Suddenly memories become tangible objects which I desire. To find a way to relive my past, while squandering all that I have in front of me. There is everything that I need to create a sense of belonging. Once again, I must try to find a way to ignore these seeds that I have planted in my mind. To acknowledge what it is that I have become, to acknowledge what I have become a part of.