Good mornin mr. snip snip snip witchur haircut jus as short as mine Bay rum lucky tiger butch wax cracker jacks shoe shine jaw breaker Magazine racks hangin round the barber shop a side burnin close crop Mornin mr. furgeson whats the good word witcha been Stayin outa trouble like a good boy should I see youre still cuttin hair Well Im still cuttin classes I just couldnt hep myself I got a couple of passes to the ringle bros. barn bail circus afternoon I see you lost a little round the middle and your lookin reel good Sittin on the wagon stead of under the hood Whats the low down mr. brown heard you boys leavin town I just bought myself a struggle buggy suckers powder blue Throw me over sports page cincinnatis lookin good Always been for pittsburgh lay you 10 to 1 That the pirates get the pennant and the series for their done You know the hairs gettin longer and the skirts gettin shorter You can get a cheaper haircut if you wanna cross the border Now if your mama saw you smokin why shed kick your ass Put it out you little juvenile and put it out fast Oh if I had a million dollars well what would I do Probly be a barber not a bum like you Still gotchur paper route now thats just fine Now you can pay me double cause you gypped me last time You be keepin little circus money and spend it on a girl Know I give the best haircuts in the whole wide world