All righty then. Picture this if you will. 10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my need-to-know post just outside Area 51 Contemplating the whole chosen people thingy when just then a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this Cutting right angle doughnuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks and me yelping... HOLY FUCKING SHIT Holy fucking shit Fucking shit Holy fucking shit Holy fucking shit Holy fucking shit...fucking shit...fucking shit
Then the X-Files being, looking like some kinda blue-green Jackie Chan With Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked of vanilla chig champa Did a slow-mo Matrix decent outta the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, My gaping jaw, And my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip, And all I could think was, I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice That I pissed my fucking pants.
So light in his way Like an apparition, He had me crying out, Fuck me! It's gotta be the Deadhead chemistry! The blotter got right on top of me Got me seeing E motherfucking T!
And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose, He said you are the chosen one. The one who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it And a warning for those who do not. Me, the chosen one They chose me And I didn't graduate from fucking high school!
You had better You had better You had better You had better listen
Then he looked right through me With somniferous almond eyes Don't even know what that means Must remember to write it down, This is so real Like the time Dave floated away See my heart is pounding 'Cause this shit never happens to me!
Can't breathe right now
It was so real Like I woke up in Wonderland Also a bit terrifying I don't wanna be all alone When I tell this story And can anyone tell me why ya'll sound like Peanuts parents Will I ever be coming down? This is so real Finally it's my lucky day See my heart is racing 'Cause this shit never happens to me
I can't breathe right now
You believe me don't you Please believe what I just said See the dead ain't tourin' And this wasn't all in my head. See they took me by the hand And invited me right in Then they showed me something I don't even know where to begin
Strapped down to my bed Feet cold and eyes red I'm out of my head Am I alive am I dead Can't remember what they said God damn shit the bed High eye (repeated)
I believe you (repeated, heard faintly in background)
Overwhelmed as one would be Placed in my position Such a heavy burden now to be the one Born to bear and bring to all The details of our ending To write it down for all the world to see. But I forgot my pen Shit the bed again Typical.
Strapped down to my bed Feet cold and eyes red I'm out of my head Am I alive am I dead? Sunkist and sudafed Gyroscopes and infrared Won't help the brain-dead Can't remember what they said God damn shit the bed IIIIIII can't remember what they said to me Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero Can't remember what he said
Bob help me! Can't remember what he said
Don't know, won't know (repeated) God damn shit the bed!