it will be ten days until i see you on the 29th of may ten days after the 19th, only three days time until there's twenty more days to go get rid of written words i'm kicking each day out of it's cocooning mess sick of tuesdays chewing down on knotted shoulders knitted tightly to over-felt associations and lost once loved memory things that all too often trigger big, bad, angry, exquisite emotions to knock my toothbrush against my teeth and bite chunks out of my own cheeks to feed no one but myself
i've written five pages tonight maybe i should stop watching clocks i'm not myself i've lost what cost me my sanity any clarity isn't here i'm always waiting
eating the 19th up until one memory today is lying in a question of worship does it come naturally to over- feelers feeling out their own existence to the point of non- existence filling up by picking out and pacing through erasing points and finally filing every point and line away awaiting night and dawn and day and dusk exist as one occur as one be gone and done and multiplied by nine not points on lines that all at once have not yet happened and seem to never be able to happen each moment is secretly twice of the other and waiting is taking so much longer than any other activity and i'm doing it always
patiently running patiently crying patiently just making it and making up bus rides
dreams run in your consciousness fake discussions taking chances i'll leave you to your lies continue analysing signs having a crisis
(i'm doing it always)
i'm crumbling at the seams just keep melting into your surroundings