Trevor Moore - High in church | Текст песни

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• Trevor Moore
• High in church

Went home for Christmas,
And Brian came over I was nervous.
'cause he brought a bag of shrooms and pot
And I'm new to this I'm just learning.

Got a little too high on accident,
Yeah, that's right not on purpose.
Then mom busted in my room,
And said we had to go to midnight service.

Now we're in the minivan,
And my friends don't understand.
I'm freaking out here, man,
Trying to remeber who I am.

My mom is talkig to me,
And that's just making it worse,
We walk into the lobby,
Oh, shit, I'm high in church.

I'm high in church,
I'm high in church,
Oh God, please help me,
This is the worst

I'm high in church,
I'm high in church,
I'm high as hell.
This is the worst.

Fit to go grab a pew,
I'm freaking out don't know what to do,
There's an old war vet snoring next to me
And I think he's been here since World War II.

I'm peaking here, I'm wiggin' out,
They know I'm stoned, there is no doubt.
Brian is reading a Bivle and laughing,
I plead for him to cut it out.

But he's giggling loud, he starts to cry,
He's turning red, I don't know why.
He's like a goddamn neon billboard,
Saying, "Hay y'all we're super high!"

I ask him what his problem is,
And what's making him laugh,
He points a verse that says
The Lord opened up the mouth of an ass.

Oh my god, that's super gross,
Why the hell is that in there?
My mom shushes both of us,
And people turn around and stare.

I take the book from Brian,
The choir begins to sing.
It dawns on me that I've never actually read this thing.

I open up the pages,
And then start flipping through.
I find it calms me down,
And gives my mind something to do.

It says some beautiful things
About forgiveness and love.
Till I get to the end when God comes back.
Wilds out and straight-up fucks Earth up

Holy shit, did you know this?!
Read this last part, what the fuck?!
Spoiler alert, God comes back with dragons,
And murders everyone!

What happened to the lovely-dovey stuff from the other verse?
Oh, shit, man, I can't handle this, right now I'm high in church...

I'm high in church,
I'm high in church,
Oh God, please help me,
This is the worst

I'm high in church,
I'm high in church,
I'm high as hell.
This is the worst.

Need to get where no one can see,
So I excuse myself to take a pee.
But in the bathroom my old youth pastor
Comes up and stands next to me.

Oh, great, he's probably gonna start yapping,
About how my soul is eternal.
But insted he just asks why
My pants are down at the urinal.

Oops, um, sorry about that,
Nice to see you, gotta go.
Oh my god I'm high as balls,
And there's no way he doesn't know.

Shit, this is getting out of hand,
I'm getting higher, need to make a plan.
Maybe tell mom I'm sick and try to get the keys,
To sleep this off in the van.

I scoot back to my seat and notice,
Everyone has stopped singing.
The pastor asks if there is anyone here who is visiting.

Mom gets excited, raises her hand,
I tell her no, but she makes me stand.
Pastor asks if I'm just here for Christmas,
And I say I am.

The congregation turns around,
The pastor asks me how I've been,
And that's about when the goddamn shrooms,
Decided it was time to kick the fuck on in.

Trevor you've really done it now.
Holy shit what's going on,
What is that voice I'm freaking out?
This is Satan, and you've summoned me to seal your doom.

Whoa, hold up, wait a minute,
I don't even think I believe in you.
I exist within subconsciousness,
Down in your mind.

But you did drugs and went to church,
And now your soul is mine!
For all eternity
You will neve escape my clutch!

Okay, uh, first of all,
I think that seems like a little much.
A joint and a couple caps and stems,
Is that all that a soul is worth?

And God made everything I've done tonight,
All of it's from the Earth.

The mushrooms and the pot, yo He made it all.
The nitrous and the Adderall.
Muscle relaxers, maybe a little coke,
But if that damns me for eternity,
Then if you ask me, the system broke.

Then Satan disappeared,
And shrieked a shrieking sound.
I sent him back to Hell,
Because I fucking stood my ground!

The church stares at me,
Their eyes are open wide!
And the pastor asks If I'd stop shouting,
And please go outside.

I'm high in church,
I'm high in church,
Whatever, man.
I guess it could be worse.

I'm high in church,
I'm high in church,
That's who I am.
Sorry, mom I think I'll be outside in the van.


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