Me and Jesse's cousin Went to the Chevron after work To grab a couple sixers and some beefy jerk. The man behind the counter Said he'd like to see ID I handed him one of a guy who sorta looked like me
He frowned and asked me what was my address, I knew the street but I couldn't quite get the rest
I said I'd lost my real ID And that we would pay him double We swore that we weren't cops and that he wouldn't get in trouble He smiled and said, "I'm sorry, But it's already 12:04 And the state says it's too late to sell alcohol any more."
Sadly we went to put back the beer, But then a bottle caught my eye, and I got an idea:
What about mouthwash? What about huffing paint? You don't need ID to buy it, And you can't arrive too late. What about mouthwash? What about smelling glue? If they say you can't buy liquor, Then some cough syrup should do.
Before we count this night up as a loss, What about mouthwash?
Sittin' in the truck in the parking lot Underneath the moon and all them stars We don't need their liquor stores and we don't need their bars Drinking Listerine and tonic And Jesse's cousin sipped a Scope and Coke Robitussin Red Bull, now that shit ain't no joke
But something changed within me at that store, Beer and spirits just don't cut it any more
The whispers that I hear And the looks that I keep gettin' When I toast with a Dimetapp daiquiri at a fancy wedding And last night a cop pulled me over Goin' down 95 South And he saw the Sherwin-Williams all over my nose and mouth
He just looked straight at me With pity in his eyes Like he'd just seen the depths of sadness a man can have inside And the lengths to which he'll go To numb it down for another day He looked as if he'd cry but then he just walked away.
I watched as he drove off down the Interstate And then I thought to myself, "that's another reason this stuff's great!"
What about mouthwash? What about sniffing glue? When the police pull you over, They ain't sure what to do What about mouthwash? Or even hand sanitizer? When they check your glove compartment, They won't be none the wiser.
Before we count this night up as a loss, Say, what about mouthwash?
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