What if you were a Jehovah’s Witness that was merely pretending to be into Christmas Gathering clues and blending in To take down the holidays from within You mean like a spy, investigating Making it seem like I’m celebrating When actually I’m infiltrating Santa’s operation?
Yoip!
Going deep cover past enemy lines Making everybody think I’m on the Chris-a-mas side Rockin’ warm sweaters Hangin’ big-ass lights If the fat man can see me, yo It’s gotta look right I’ll watch all the TV specials that I never could I’ll even cry through the sad ones like James Bond would And when the big night comes it’s time to set the bait Cold milk, hot cookies Decorative plates! And he’ll come down the chim-in-ey And then we’ll just be him and me But he won’t know we’re enemies
‘Cuz I’ll play sincere Spring a trap Like that Hug him tight Get on his lap And tell him he can come back every year ‘Cuz I am Jehovah’s most secret witness So I might have to dedicate my life to Christmas And act just like I love it ’til the day I die
A-B-E-D!
Connoisseur of Christmas On the spectrum None of your business Thoughts too fast to comprehend Just wanna do right By my friends If years were seasons This December Would be the December Of our December More blueprints than Howard Hughes But if there are blueprints How do we choose?
We have to be happy to get to the end We have to save Christmas to save our friends We have to save Christmas to save our friends We have to save Christmas to save our friends