i don't care much for the springtime. twenty odd plates on the same side. i don't know, i'd say the same about the fall. it's just been such a long night. i was anxious until the first light. I've been finding i spend most of them like this. usually it's all fuzz keeping me awake at night. there's nothing that'll help what trouble I've been thinking of. once you take the first step it's irreversibly changing. i don't think I'm being selfish. how would you like me to live? disappointment waiting for me like a hunger in the morning. draw a straight line i can follow easily. there's a grey lens over my eyes. the perception wasn't quite right. if you're in the dark enough your eyes adjust. my fingers tracing, soft, on the curtain. I'm sick and nervous. dive in the pavement. i don't care much for the springtime. theres a grey lens over my eyes. there's a hunger waiting for me. disappointment in the morning.