[Monoxide Child:] On the east side where we ride and die, Blowin' green trees underneath Christmas lights. Got the sweet leaf passin', when the time is right I'ma kill a mother fucker tonight! (Sounds right!)
[Violent J:] On the west side, Santa smokes PCP. Wrecked his landing, got stuck in a tree. Crackheads climbed up and robbed his ass, butt naked, found him in the dumpster trash!
[Jamie Madrox:] On the east side, we keepin' the red green, Smokin' on a fatty, we're trimmin' a Christmas tree! Ain't nobody on the streets because it's too cold, In the Murder City, blood turns to red, icy cold!
[Shaggy 2 Dope:] On the west side, it's more cold and presents, Handed out to the kids by Zugg island, represented, Is a Christmas Eve of black-ass snow, The only white powder you see is bagged and sold!
[Chorus:] Christmas, ho ho ho! It's a murder, a Murder City Christmas! (West side, east side) It's a murder, a Murder City Christmas! Ho ho ho! It's a murder, a Murder City Christmas! (West side, east side) It's a murder, a Murder City Christmas!
Ho ho hah, ho ho! The holidays are a time of giving and receiving! Give me some money so I can receive me a warm bottle of (hotes?)
[Violent J:] On the west side, people got kids to feed. Mom's a hooker and I'm selling brown weed, Suicide rates rise, everybody needs money, So Frosty's cute-ass jokes ain't funny!
[Monoxide Child:] On the east side, we like to go out west! Grab Shaggy n' J and start killin' till the sun set! Not fun, yet? Gimme a sec, I gotta throw away tech for the special event
[Shaggy 2 Dope:] On the west side, we throw up, have sex, Fuck a resolution, we set up new years bomb threats! Hood-rat hoes, with mistletoe made with chemicals, Another Zombie froze every time the wind blows..
[Jamie Madrox:] On the east side, my pockets are straight lint, So I stole like a theif, cause my money was like spent! Got a repo on my door and an eviction notice in the center, How could the holidays get any better!?
[Chorus:] Christmas, ho ho ho! It's a murder, a Murder City Christmas! (West side, east side) It's a murder, a Murder City Christmas! Ho ho ho! It's a murder, a Murder City Christmas! (West side, east side) It's a murder, a Murder City Christmas!
Excuse me, lady! Ho ho, but I happened to notice your purse! Could I have some tip for the holiday, you bitch!? Please! Ho ho ho ho ho!
[Violent J:] On the west side, Rudolph's red light nose Means cheap ass sex from his strung out hoes! Their toes are frozen, all in the streets, With shivering teeth still nibbling meats!
[Jamie Madrox:] On the east side, believe me, I'm not a Scrooge! I'm a serial killer, tired of wearing some bloody snow boots! Kinda havin' to choke my way through the holidays, So I'ma do it right this time and get paid!
[Shaggy 2 Dope:] On the west side, we've got Santa the Crackhead. He'll get you a VCR for a dime bag. He's fat and old, but here's the difference His beard's gray and nappy, and it smells like piss!
[Monoxide Child:] On the east side, if you're window's open Just know, somebody's probably scopin'. You should know that shit gets hot like everyday, Even 'round Christmas time, we don't play!
[Chorus:] Christmas, ho ho ho! It's a murder, a Murder City Christmas! (West side, east side) It's a murder, a Murder City Christmas! Ho ho ho! It's a murder, a Murder City Christma