Disappointment is the only word I can gather to express how I was feeling when I woke up this morning. The fact that the cord on my earphones didnt strangle me in my sleep. The painkillers I took the night before didnt poison me. The excessive amounts of alcohol didnt eternally put me to sleep. This sorry excuse for a life I call my own. Has left me with nothing but painful hate for this world that I live in. But the thought that I would end all of this for her. Weather she knows it or not. Is it unfair to be a part of this. When all I want is to see her smile. I've given up all hope of ever finding. That love I have been longing for so long. The things I would do for love. The things I would give for love. A word that is slowly losing meaning to me.
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