Well I’m a sittin’ on the Enterprise Snackin’ on bourbon and replicated fries Starin’ at the stars, I take another sip Feels like my brain has abandoned ship
Spoke to a Vulcan just the other day Said he had transferred from the Botany Bay Said he liked it here cause we had plenty of beer He was gettin’ drunk with some sort of bug in his ear
Red alert! My glass has gone dry You better beam me up another shot of “No Kill I” And while you’re at it please send me a yeoman or two We’re gonna play a little game of Kobayashi Maru
I can’t believe it’s been about five years That’s a lot of time and a lot of beer Boldly drank my way through outer space Bulge in my pants and a smile on my face
Captain said that I got no pride That I’d be a disgrace till the day I die Told me to quit my drinkin’, be a part of the crew So I beamed him into space and grabbed another brew
And now I’m warpin’ here in my own ship With a crew that’s too drunk to give me lip Ain’t seen my Vulcan since yesterday Bet he’s still pukin’ down in the cargo bay
Red alert! Pour me another shot I wrote it into the script, I made it part of the plot In fact, just go ahead and make it a cup If I gotta beam down you better Jim Beam me up
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