Warp Zone - THE HOBBIT - RAP BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES | Текст песни

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• THE HOBBIT - RAP BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES

Home is behind
Death ahead
And through every path we tread

I see fire, I see smoke
I see blood and loss of hope
Brothers peace comes not swords
But with words
I've summoned you all here
Because it nears the end of Autumn
And an evil army is forming
And their numbers only broaden
Eleves and Dwarves and Men
Now need to form an ultimate squadron
All's lost then! But Bard's Men? Oh dear, I've forgot them
However, you two must join forces
And set aside your quarrels
Your skills and mettle should win this battle
Not physics defying barrels
Not to mention Smaug got out
Now Esgatoth's in peril
Man Middle Earth is screwed worse
Than it was in your Misty Mountain carol
Oh, but guess who's there and back in this
Oh just, you know, the protagonist
Bilbo Baggins's, verbal bag o' tricks
Rappin quicker than you pricks could ever
Smack your lips
Now I know you guys are gonna laugh at this
But I might be the one who got the dragon pissed
But y'all got the brawn for what you lack in wits
So if we band together we can handle this
Ooh not a bad shot
I barely heard his ass drop
Uh those guys look mad boss
Come on are you really that shocked?
Wr slaughter Elf and Men, dawg
With hardly even a half thought
These fools don't know what we have got
And look they've got a mascot
Oh hey, the Dwarf king! He's a lot smaller in person
He can't command without a stool to stand on
Of that I'm fairly certain
He's weak, like his father, could use a comb and a shave
Revenge he seeks, are you bothered?
Not when his head's on the tip of my blade
I. I will not stand aside whilst you disrespect my bro here
He's loyal and resolute like my future late friend Boromir
He's got more particle of manliness within his own beard
He's braver than his language skills
Of yet he does not know fear
Dude, I'm the sharpest archer
In any book that you've flipped through
Every generation I'm hip to
Do you know how many I've lived though?
And I've still got the power to split you and improve your bigger issue
You're horrid like the son of this dude
Count it! That's two
I'm sorry we don't speak Elvis, ma'am
But here is our interpretation
You'd be a prettier girl
With your bow around your head and lacerations
This battle's over, we should go
I'm getting bored too
Just crawl back to your hipster limbo
And let your wizard fight for you
(Well they didn't really leave us many options, so everyone's cool with me summoning a few eagles, yes?)
No! I've had up to here with you all
You've grown egos with your height
Make a spear of your staff
Don't let eagles win your fights
We were not clear, so it seems, Elf
Now let me give you insight
For every necessary beatdown on these punks
I have the only right!
You two, over there. You make the cutest couple
You're like Tauriel and Kili, if you kiss with each other's knuckles
Your faces seem to be remodelled by a toddler with a thousand piece puzzle
You both disgust me, with shallower morals than a Hobbit piss puddle
But I must admit I'm also flawed
And prone to selfish ways
I brought my men far from their homes
They fought through hellish days
But my kingdom's worth defending
And my men worth fighting for
So grab your swords
Prep your hordes, motherf##kers
I will have war!
So here you find, death ahead
Did you hear what I just said?
You know what? Fine!
I'll let you be, beat each other senselessly
We will see who lives, my friend
In the end

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