Weird Al Yancovic - Stanley | Текст песни

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• Weird Al Yancovic
• Stanley

A lump of coal Im Wondering why
I got out of bed at all
I cant believe its Christmas morning
and theres no gift at all
I thought that this was supposed to be
A day to deck the halls
But he forgot again
and Im so mad, Im so mad [x2]

Dear Santa
I wrote but you aint brought me nuthin
I sent you a whole gift list
But I still hadnt got none
I sent to letters back in autumn
You must not have got em
There probably was a problem with the elfs up there or sumthin
Maybe them midgets didnt know that Christmas was coming
But anyway, fuck it
Whats been up man how's your reindeer?
I put cookies on the roof for them to eat when they get here
You missed my house this time
That's OK, maybe next year
Wake my ass up then and we'll have a light beer
On my list was some things that I want you to bring me
When you get a chance, please drop em all down my chimney
What I asked you for was playstation from Sony
And Play-dough, and Legos, and skates and a pony
Thats all that I want, and this year I been good
So please, fill up that sack and swing by my hood
If you could, Truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

Dear Santa
I cant believe that you forgot me again
Aint shit sittin underneath the tree in my den
You didnt bring Legos or Play-dough or Sony
How am I supposed to get to school with no skates or a pony?
I saw you at the mall, singin about with your choir
When my friend called you fake, yo I called him a liar
Now Id like to grab your neck and set your beard on fire
You know that song about the grandma who got run over, by the reindeer
Who came down and landed right on her
She got crushed on Christmas eve, now me and grandpa we believe
That's kind like this is, you coulda made me believe too
Now its too late, Im about to convert to a Jew
And all I wanted was a lousy gift under the tree
But now Im fucked up, cuz you forgot me
I love you Santa, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you cant sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream [Stanley!] (Mom, I'll be down in a minute)
I hope you dream about elfs kicking you in the nuts
And Frosty the snowman icing you up the butt
[Stanley!!!] (OK ma) Santa Ill explain this real simple
Im going to see the rabbi, hes waitin down at the temple
Even circumcision cant be much worse that what I been through
So next year at this time, send a filter fish.
Happy Hanukah Saint Dick
Cuz Stan is turning Jewish

Ho-ho-ho, Dear Stan
I meant to write you sooner, but this year I been busy
Santa Claus feel real bad he didnt come down your chimney
Dangit all too, cuz you aint been naughty, you been nice
Guess Santa Claus checked his list once but forgot to do twice
Oh well, thats the way things go at the North Pole
Sometimes hard to remember, Santa Claus gettin old
But whats this here about you becomin a Jew?
And cuttin on your ding-dong, is that what they do?
Hold up right there, cuz thats sum crazy ass shit
Santa Claus dont let nobody chop on his dick
And what the hell you talkin about us being together?
That type of thing there, thats for men who wear leather
Thats gay talk right there, thats H-O-M-O
You sendin this here letter from San Francisco?
That's good. San Francisco. That could keep me going right there
But anyways, oh what the hell, oh yeah
Dont be so gay, and about turnin Jewish
Call my lawyer say "Orvet"
Hang on in one more year, you got a gift comin
Santa Claus gonna bring you a nice, blonde white woman
And if Stan aint to good, shell look like Kate Hudson
And that Kate Hudson, put her right up on lap
And make all kind sex, on his trouser shorts. Mm-hm
Alright then I gotta go whippin back on elf
Marry Christmas Stan
And dont play with yourself. Ho ho ho

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