As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an amish like me You know I shun fancy things like electricity At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows Jedidiah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows! And I've been milking and plowing so long that Even Ezekiel thinks That my mind is gone I'm a man of the land I'm into discipline Gotta bible in my hand And a beard on my chin And If I finish all of my chores and you finish thine Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699!
We've been spendin' most our lives Living in an amish Paradise I've churned butter once or twice living in an Amish Paradise It's hard work and sacrifice Living in an Amish Paradise We sell quilts at discount price Living in an Amish Paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week I just smiled at him And I turned the other cheek I really don't care in fact I wish him well Cuz I'll be laughing my head off When he's burnin' in Hell! I ain't never punched a tourist Even if he desreved it An Amish with a tude? You Know thats unheard of! I never wear buttons But I gotta cool hat And my homies agree I really look good in black FOOL! If you come to visit You'll be bored to tears We haven't even paid the phone bill In 300 years! But we ain't really quaint So please don't point and stare We're just technologically impaired There's no phones no lights no motorcars Not a single luxury Like Robinon Crusoe We're as primitive as can be
We've been spending most our lives Living in an Amish Paradise We're just plain and simple guys Living in an Amish Paradise There's no time for sin and vice Living in an Amish Paradise We don't fight we all play nice Living in an Amish Paradise!
Hitchin' up the Buggy Churnin' Lots a butter Raised a barn on Monday Soon I'll raise another Think your really righteous? Think your pure at heart? Well I know i'm a million times as Humble as thou art I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife! So don't be vain, and don't be whiny Or else my brother I might have to get medieval on your hiny!
We've been spending most our lives Living in an Amish Paradise We're all crazy Mennonites Living in an Amish Paradise There's no cops or traffic lights Living in an Amish Paradise But you'd probably think it bites Living in an Amish Paradise