(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey (How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey (How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly for a rabbi
Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho
Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past But most of 'em were nudniks and none of 'em would last But our new guy's real kosher, I think he'll do the trick I tell ya, he's to dies for - he really knows his shtick
So how's by you? Have you seen this Jew? Reads the Torah, does his own accounting too Workin' like a dog at the synagogue He's there all day, he's there all day Just say "Vay iz mir!" and he'll kick into gear He'll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmeer Just grab your yarmulka and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey (How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey (How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly (for a rabbi)
He shops at discount stores, not just any will sufice He has to find a bargain 'cause he won't pay retail price He never acts meshugga and he's hardly a schlemiel But if you wanna haggle, oy, he'll make you such a deal!
People used to scoff, now they say "Mazel tov!" He's such a macher 'cause he worked his tuchis off Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shul What's not to like? What's not to like? On high holy days, you know he prays and prays And he never eats pastrami on white breath with mayonnaise Put on your yarmulka and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
When he's doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn't miss He'll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss They say he's got a lot of chutzpah, he's really quite hhhhhip The parents pay the moyl and he gets to keep the tip
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey (How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey (How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho
He's doin' well, I gotta kvell The yentas love him, even shicksas think he's swell Show up at his home, he says "Shalom" And "Have some cake - you want some cake?" Yah, he calls the shots, we really love him lots Oy gevalt, I'm so ferklempt that I could plotz So grab your yarmulka The one you got for Chanukah Let's put on our yarmulkas and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!