Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming After working all year down at Big Roy's Eating And Plumbing So one night when my family the I were gathered 'round the dinner table I said, "Kids, if you could go anywhere in this great big world, now Where'd you like to go ta" They said, "Dad, we wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota" They picked the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
So the very next day we loaded up the car With potato skins and pickled weiners, Crossword puzzles, Spider-Man comics, and mama's home made rhubarb pie Pulled out of the driveway and the neighbors, they all waved good-bye And so began our three day journey
We picked up a guy holding a sign that said "twine ball or bust" He smelled real bad and he said his name was Bernie I put in a Slim Whitman tape, my wife put on a brand new hair net Kids were in the back seat jumping up and down, yelling "Are we there yet?" And all of us were joined together in one common thought As we rolled down the long and winding interstate in our '53 DeSoto We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota We're headin' for the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
Oh, we couldn't wait to get there So we drove straight through for three whole days and nights Of course, we stopped for more pickled weiners now and then The scenery was just so pretty, boy I wish the kids could've seen it But you can't see out of the side of the car Because the windows are completely covered With the decals of all the place where we've already been
There's Elvis-O-Rama, the Tupperware Museum, The Boll Weevil Monument, and Cranberry World, The Shuffleboard Hall Of Fame, Poodle Dog Rock, And The Mecca of Albino Squirrels We've been to ghost towns, theme parks, wax museums, And a place where you can drive through the middle of a tree We've seen alligator farms and tarantula ranches, But there's still one thing we gotta see
Well, we crossed the state line about 6:39 And we saw a sign that said "Twine Ball exit - 50 miles" Oh, the kids were so happy the started singing "99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall" for the 27th time that day So, we pulled off the road at the last chance gas station Got a few more pickled weiners and a diet chocolate soda On our way to see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota We're gonna see the biggest ball of tiwne in Minnesota
Finally, at 7:37 early Wednesday evening as the sun was setting in the Minnesota sky Out in the distance, on the horizon, it appeared to me like a vision before my unbelieving eye I parked the car and walked with awe-filled reverence towards that glorius huge majestic sphere I was just so overwhelmed by its sheer imensity, I had to pop myself a beer Yes, on these hallowed grounds, open ten to eight on weekdays, in a little shrine under a make-shift pagoda, There sits the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota I tell you, it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
Oh, what on earth would make a man decide to do that kind of thing? Oh, windin' up twenty-one thousand, one hundred forty pounds of string What was he trying to prove, who was he trying to impress Why did he build it, how did he do, it was anybody's guess Where did he get the twine, what was goin' through his mind Did it just seem like a good idea at the time
Well, we walked up beside it and I warned the kids "Now, you better not touch it, those ropes are there for a reason" I said, "Maybe if you're good, I'll tie it to the back of our car and we can take it home", but I was only teasin' Then we went to the gift shop and stood in line Bought a souvineer miniature ball of twine, some window decals, and anything else they'd sell us And we bought a couple post cards,