[sound effects from tools] Nothing ever (ever) happens in this town Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here I thought that I would go right outta my mind Until a friend told me the news
He said, "(Hey), you know that vacant lot Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it And on the spot they're gonna build a shop Where we can go buy bolts and screws"
Since then I've been walking on air (air) I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair 'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care I've been waiting since last June
For this day to finally arrive I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive 'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside Well, I hope they open soon
I can't wait no, (no I) I can't wait (oh when) When they gonna open up that door? I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Hardware store
In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out I pressed my nose right up against the glass You know, I had to be first in line
Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom Want a pair of pliers for every single room in my house See those hacksaws? Very, very soon One of them will be all mine
Guys with name tags walking down the aisles Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles All arranged alphabetically
And they're doing a promotional stunt There's a great big purple sign out front That says every 27th customer Will get a ball pein hammer free
I can't wait no, (no I) I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Hardware store
(breathe) Would you look at all that stuff ... They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters Trash compactors, juice extractors, shower rods and water heaters Walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters Paint removers, window louvers, masking tape and plastic gutters Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors Tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers
I can't wait no, (no I) I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goi