I was gagging on the fat, sick dripping down my face, when you told me to relax, when you said just take a break. When you rolled me on my side, and I began to shake. When you asked me for a reason, and I said I could relate. And I don’t know what you think when you look at me, and I don’t know what to say as we lay in bed. I don’t know what you think when you fall asleep, but when I fall asleep all I can do is count my breaths.
And you said what about the time outside? And I said what about the hours inside crumbling to dust? And you said what about the powders? And I said what about the fluids? And you said what about the cowards? And I said what about me, what are you trying to say?
And I said what about me, what are you trying to say? And you said what do you think we’re doing here? And I said what about the night, and you said what about the colors, what about the flowers, what about your brothers, what about the sin of my father that I ate, and it made me sick for days and days and days and days and days? And you said what about the morning, what about the pain, what about the art, what about the shame, what about the artist, what about the rain, what about the colors as they all run down your face? I said what do you think I’m doing here, and you don’t know do you. And you said what do you think we’re doing here, and I just laughed.
And I said what about the times we spent rotting indoors, fusing and imploding casting shade upon our lives, and you said what about the time you looked me in the eye and you said what about the time that you said you and I would die, hand in hand and now it’s time and now it’s time and now it’s time and now it’s time, and you just laughed and said it’s time for me to go and I just laughed and said ok, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine.