wtnv - 10 - Feral Dogs frag. - Just some plastic bags... | Текст песни

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• 10 - Feral Dogs frag. - Just some plastic bags...

Ladies and gentlemen, good news! Mayor Pamela Winchell called a press conference moments ago, declaring an end to our dog pack terror.

The mayor announced that the dogs were not actually dogs, just some plastic bags caught in the breeze that people mistook for wild dogs.

“There are no wild dogs in Night Vale,” she said. “And if there were, they’d be sweet little dogs with big, meaningless eyes and tongues like flypaper!”

The plastic bags, meanwhile, have been safely returned to the Dog Park from whence they came, and which is to remain unknowable and unremembered.

Journalists asked about the injuries and aftermath of this morning’s dog pack related crimes; the mayor responded with a hollow stare. She promptly shook the podium off its base and whispered through gritted teeth, “Plastic bags. Plastic bags.”

The Sheriff’s Secret Police then ethically kettled the pool of reporters, gently coercing them with pepper spray. Most were taken away peacefully in handcuffs and black hoods.

Thank goodness it was all a misunderstanding!

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