In a white enamel room They pulled him from his mothers womb Hanging from his heels he cried And everyone put on their smiles Ugly, red and drippin wet They put him in a bassinette Tiny toes and fingernails Daddy said he'll go to Yale Such was the first day for Fred When he reached the age of nine He killed a frog with a kitchen knife He broke the wing of a nobel bird With a jagged rock his slingshot hurled When he reached the age of ten, He stole the neighbor's guinea hen He wrapped its beak in masking tape It starved to death in thirteen days Such was the tenth year for Fred When Fred was sweet sixteen He robbed the neighborhood Dairy Queen He drove away in his Daddy's car He didn't get far The local fuzz hauled him away He went to trial the very next day Found guilty the sixteenth year for Fred And his daddy cried. Oh, Fred, Fred, where'd we go wrong? We used to buy you things I thought we got along Oh Fred, Fred, you're living a life of sin Tell me Fred, what we gonna tell our friends? When Fred was twenty-one He was brought to bear for things to come, He'd learned to kill, hate and steal Now Uncle Sam offered Fred a deal We need good men, like you my boy To throw grenades and bang young boys It takes agression and a will of steel And mainly, we got a quota to fill And off to fight, went Soldier Fred When Fred was thirty-two He was covered with medals all red and blue He'd killed twelve men in eleven years Well never once did he shed a tear Now Fred was a coming home Discharged with a broken bone Climbed aboard his plane at nine And roared off into the clear blue sky And that's where planes always fly Fred found a seat in row number two Sat himself down and loosened his boots Along came a problem with long short hair And said "Hey man, you're setting in my chair." Fred got up and hit the poor man Forgot about the cast he had on his hand He killed him dead in one clean blow It didn't bother Fred too much though. Such was homecoming for Fred And his Daddy cried Oh Fred, Fred, where'd we go wrong? We used to buy you things I thought we got along Oh Fred, Fred, you've done it again Tell me Fred, what we gonna tell our friends? Read more at http://www.lyrics.com/fred-lyrics-zager-evans.html#LzVIDrFZIyuwBeRi.99