АСК Агата - Aperture Science Laboratories в домашних условиях | Текст песни

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• АСК Агата
• Aperture Science Laboratories в домашних условиях

Agatha: That was a busy day... Finally, home, sweet home... *exhales* Now, what can I...
*explosion sound*
Agatha: *shrieking* WHAT?! What was that?.. wait, I have an idea... lemme check it out...
*button pressing sound*
*elevator arriving sound*
*walking sound*
*elevator going sound*
Agatha: Oooh, just let me get to them, i don't know what i will do if they crashed anything...
*elevator stops*
*walking sounds*
Agatha: Oh-kay... So it looks like everything's fine... *distant noises and GLaDOS voice* Oh wait it's not!
*running sound*
*door opening sound*
GLaDOS: For your own safety and the safety of others, please refrain from-- [bzzzzzt]
Agatha: GLaDOS! Are you okay? What the grop is going on?
GLaDOS: Hello again. It's your old friend.
*Adventure core distant talking*
Agatha: HIM?!
GLaDOS: Yes. And another one, too.
Agatha: Another... wait... oh you gotta be kidding me...
*space core talking*
Space Core: Oo. Oo. Oo. Lady. Oo. Lady. Oo. Let's go to space. Oh I know! I know I know I know I know I know - let's go to space! Oooh! Ooh! Hi hi hi hi hi. Where we going? Where we going? Hey. Lady. Where we going? Where we going? Let's go to space! Lady. I love space. I know! Spell it! S P... AACE. Space. Space. Wait wait wait wait. I know I know I know. Lady wait. Wait. I know. Wait. Space.
Agatha: Oh my goodness. No-no-no-no, that won't do. Here, I'll shut you down... *shutdown sound* Oh-kay, now what...
Adventure core: Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name's Rick. So, you out having a little adventure? I don't want to scare you, but, I'm an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger. So, why don't you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I'll just take it from here. *crash sound* Man, that is trouble.
GLaDOS: Nice job breaking it, hero.
Agatha: Rick! Shut up this instant! *explosion sound* What did you do?
Adventure core: Did you hear that? I think something just exploded. Man, we are in a lot of danger. This is like Christmas. No, it's better than Christmas. This should be its own holiday. Explosion Day! Happy Explosion Day, gorgeous.
Agatha: It's not like we have time for your nonsence!
Anventure Core: All right, back to work. Let's do this.
Agatha: Oh no you're not doing anything. You did enough! Stay right there you are, okay?
Adventure core: Okay, have it your way. You're the boss here, dimples. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady.
Agatha: If you
won't shut up, i will force shut you down!
Adventure core: Pff, whatever.
Agatha: Okay nice! GLaDOS, could you be a dear and tell me what exactly is broken?
GLaDOS: Hold on... Oh well. Now I have to go to the wing that was made entirely of glass and pick up fifteen acres of broken glass. By myself.
Agatha: Oh, so it's not thaaaat bad, right? *loudly inhales and exhales* You got me real worried back there. Really, you have no idea how *GLaD* I am to see that everything's alright!
GLaDOS: Oh you are kidding me. I hate you so much.
Agatha: Oh come oooon GLaDOS, we both know you like me! *laughs*
GLaDOS: Oh come on... *distant crash sound* Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go.
Agatha: Okay, okay, go ahead! See ya later!
GLaDOS: Goodbye.
Agatha: Oh-kay, since everything else seems to be okay... why don't I just look around...
*walking sound*
*elevator sound*
*turret check-up line*
Announcer: Template.
Turret: Hey.
Announcer: Responce.
Turret: Hello.
*and so on*
Agatha: Oh, that's turret factory... nice... Everything's alright here, I guess... Oh, i might have just the idea what to do!
*walking sound*
*turret check-up line sound*
*defective turret comes*
Deefctive turret: Oh thank god. You saved my bacon, pal. Where we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing.
Agatha: Whoa! What's this... aaaah, defective turret. I got it... well yeah, seems like i saved you, lil' buddy! You know what, let's get outta here!
Defective turret: Yeah! Let's do this!
Agatha: Nice!
*walking*
Agatha: Since GLaDOS is busy, I might as well go to labs and finally finish that project...
*Voice: Some time later*
GLaDOS: Oh good, i Found you. where have you been?
Defective turret: Well, hello, stranger!
GLaDOS: Oh. You were busy back there.
Agatha: Oh hey GLaDOS! I um, I wanted to finish this AND show it to you! Look, i think it will work now!
*turn on sound*
Curiosity core: Who are you? What is that? Oh, what's that? What's that? What is THAT? Ooh, that thing has numbers on it! Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing. Ewww, what's wrong with your legs? Where are we going? Are you coming back? Oh hey, you're the lady from the test! Hi! What's that noise? Is that a gun? Do you smell something burning? Where are we going? Oh, what's in here?
Agatha: Look! It's almost like your previous Curiosity core! like, i know you don't need extra cores anymore, but - but it works! It actually works! I even made it's voice similar to that one! What do you think? I did good, right? Right?
GLaDOS: Impressive. Maybe i was wrong about you.
Agatha: I'm sorry, what?
GLaDOS: Nothing. It isn't impotant.
Defective turret: Yes indeed, eees indeed...
Agatha: Awww, you know you're such a cutie, right? I like you sooooo much!
GLaDOS: What are you doing? Stop it! I... I...
Agatha: Whoa, whoa whoa, your voice is glitching so much! Okay, no more hugs for now, calm down, alright? GLaDOS? GLaDOS? Are you okay?
GLaDOS: Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Agatha: Whoa!
God dammit... your voice box went off, didn't it... you sound just like back there...
Announcer: Warning: Core corruption at 50 percent. Manual core replacement required.
GLaDOS: Oh my god. I think there's something really wrong with me.
Agatha: Oh-kay, now let's avoid jokes, this is serious. Is that Rick's doing too or it's my fault now? Oh well, doesn't matter. The thing is, you realise that i have to remove you from this body of yours to repair it, right?
GLaDOS: Wait! This place is going to blow up if I don't get back in my body!

Agatha: Don' yell at me, i know that! And YOU should know that I'm either removing you from your body temporarily to fix your voice box and the rest of your glitches, OR force shutting you down - beause if I won't do that, this facility will blow up, just like you said! We will stop every single process in it while I'm repairing you, alright? Just cope with it, please. It won't be for long, I promise.
GLaDOS: This is not good. Still. It's a better plan than exploding. Marginally. I'm sure we'll be fine.
Agatha: Oh great! Gimme a sec, i need to find that Temporary-shutdown core... Oh yes here it is!
Announcer: Alternate core detected. To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle.
Agatha: Nooooow... Where to... uh-huh, here.
Announcer: Substitute core accepted. Substitute core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Core: Yes.
Announcer: Corrupted core, are you ready to start the procedure?
GLaDOS: Yes.
*changing sound*
Agatha: Oh yes, you'll need a temporary body as well... remember that doll i made about three days ago? How'zabout it? At least it's got a good voice box... oh yeah, i forgot - you can't answer. Welp, I'll just do it then!
*connection sound* *repairing sound*
GLaDOS: You're not a good person. You know that, right?
Agatha: Oh my, now you are even cuter... yeah, not the best decision on my part. Now I want to hug you even more...
GLaDOS: Look, you're wasting your time. And, believe me, you don't have a whole lot left to waste. Unless you have a plan for building some supercomputer parts in a big hurry, this place isn't going to be safe much longer.
Agatha: Yeah yeah, I remember, sorry. Here, stay here for a bit, I'll go get my instruments...
*Voice: One BIG repair later*
Agatha: Here you go, GLaDOS! Good as new, all up and runnin'! Though I must say, you look real nice when you are all \"dolled\" up!
GLaDOS: Okay, we're even now. You can stop.
Agatha: Ooooh, but it's just soooo fun to see your reaction! By the way, care to tell me what exactly made you glitch THAT baldy? 50 percent corruption - and right after my hug! It's just a guess, but... were you embarrassed?
GLaDOS: I sincerely hope you weren't expecting a response. Because I'm not talking to you.
Agatha: Oh come oooon! You can't be THAT shy, right?
GLaDOS: The talking is over.
Agatha: Ohmygosh that's even cuter!
GLaDOS: I'm seriously not paying atten-- STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
Agatha: Aww, you're my adorable robot friend!
GLaDOS: STOP!
Agatha: Okay, okay, I'm sorry, really. I um, guess I better get going then! See you later GLaDOS! Please don't kill my defective turret friend while I'm gone! He's in the room next to lab and I will try to *low voice* Goodness, she's such a cutie... why isn't she a human... life is so unfair...

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