Set fire to your hair Poke a stick at a grizzly bear Eat medicine that’s out of date Use your private parts as piranha bait
Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die, dumb ways to di-i-i-ie, so many dumb ways to die
Get your toast out with a fork Do your own electrical work Teach yourself how to fly Eat a two week old unrefrigerated pie
Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die, dumb ways to di-i-i-ie, so many dumb ways to die
Invite a psycho-killer inside Scratch a drug dealer’s brand new ride Take your helmet off in outer space Use your clothes dryer as a hiding place
Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die, dumb ways to di-i-i-ie, so many dumb ways to die
Keep a rattlesnake as pet Sell both your kidneys on the internet Eat a tube of superglue “I wonder what’s this red button do?”
Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die, dumb ways to di-i-i-ie, so many dumb ways to die
Dress up like a moose during hunting season Disturb a nest of wasps for no good reason Stand on the edge of a train station platform Drive around the boom gates at a level crossing Run across the tracks between the platforms They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly
Dumbest ways to die Dumbest ways to die Dumbest ways to di-i-i-ie So many dumb So many dumb ways to die