[Eminem] May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? We’re gonna have a problem here..
Y’all act like you never seen a white person before Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door And started whooping her ass worse than before They first were divorced, throwing her over furniture (Ah!) It’s the return of the… «Ah, wait, no way, you’re kidding, He didn’t just say what I think he did, did he?» And Dr. Dre said… nothing, you idiots! Dr. Dre’s dead, he’s locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!) Feminist women love Eminem [*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*] «Slim Shady, I’m sick of him Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what Flipping the you-know-who.» «Yeah, but he’s so cute though!» Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose But no worse, than what’s going on in your parents’ bedrooms Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can’t But it’s cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose «My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips» And if I’m lucky, you might just give it a little kiss And that’s the message that we deliver to little kids And expect them not to know what a woman’s clitoris is Of course they gonna know what intercourse is By the time they hit fourth grade They got the Discovery Channel, don’t they? «We ain’t nothing but mammals..» Well, some of us cannibals Who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP] But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes Then there’s no reason that a man and another man can’t elope [*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
[Chorus – Eminem (repeat 2x):] ‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up, Please stand up, please stand up?