Guess who You missed me? Jessica Simpson, sing the chorus!
[Refrain] When you walked through the door, it was clear to me (clear to me) You’re the one they adore, who they came to see. (who they came to see) You’re a… rockstar (baby) Everybody wants you (everybody wants you) Playa, who can really blame you? (who can really blame you) We’re the ones who made you
Back by popular demand Now pop a little zantac for antacid if you can You’re ready to tackle any task that is at hand How does it feel? Is it fantastic, is it grand? Well look at all the massive masses in the stands Shady, man, no, don’t massacre the fans Damn, I think Kim Kardashian’s a man! She stomped him just because he asked to put his hands On her massive glutius maximus again Sqeeze it, then squish it, then pass it to her friend Can he come back as nasty as he can? Yes, he can, can, don’t ask me this again He does not mean to lesbian offend But Lindsay, please come back to seeing men Samantha’s a two, you’re practically a ten I know you want me, girl, in fact, I can see a grin. Now come in girl.
[Refrain]
The enforcer looking for more women to torture Walk up to the cutest girl and Charlie Horse ‘er Sorry Porsha, but what’s Ellen Degeneress, have that i don’t Are ya tellin me tenderness Well I can be as gentle and smooth as a gentlemen Gimme my ventolin inhaler and two xenadrine And I’ll invite Sarah Palin out to dinner then Nail her, baby say hello to my little friend Brit, forget K-Fed, let’s cut off the middle men Forget him or you’re gonna end up in the hospital again And this time it won’t be for the Ritalin binge Forget them other men, girl, pay the middle attention and little did I mention, that Jennifer’s in Love with me, John Mayer, so sit on the bench Man, I swear them other guys, you give ‘em an inch They take a mile, they got style, but it isn’t Slim
[Refrain]
And that’s why, my love you’ll never live without I know you want me girl ’cause I can see you checkin me out And baby, you know you know you want me too Don’t try to deny it baby you know that I’m the only one for you (obligatory fart noise)
Damn girl I’m beginning to sprout an alphalpha Why should I wash my filthy mouth out you think thats bad you should hear the rest of my album Never has there been such finesse and nostalgia Man Cash, I don’t mean to mess with ya gal but Jessica Alba put her breast in my mouth bro Wowzers I just made a mess in my trousers And they wonder why I keep wrestlin elvis Lord, help us, he’s back in his pink Alf shirt Lookin like someone drinked his outfit I think he’ bout to flip Jessica rest assured Superman’s here to rescue you Can you blame me? You’re my Amy, I’m your Blake Matter of fact, bake me a birthday cake With a sawblade in it to make my jail break Maybe i think you just met your soulmate Now break it down girl