Oh... you can do it a sheep if you lead it astray, or with a chicken, just part of the way With a lion if you have that much pride or with an elephant, if you're rather wide. You can with a grizzly if you give him a hug or with a bullfrog if you give him a bug with a giraffe you can stand on a chair, but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all, buggered at all, buggered at all x2
you can do it with a hen cos an egg'll fit in or with a worm if you're pointy and thin With a snake if you're incredibly long with a gorilla if you're really that strong with a boa constrictor if he's your main squeeze with a big German Shepherd if you don't mind the fleas You can with a snail, if you slow to a crawl but the Hedgehog can never be buggered at all
chorus
With a cow if you're feeling in udder disgrace With an alligator if you like toothy grins on your face With a bat if you're gifted with wings with a magpie if you like shiny things With a cheetah if you love rather fast A donkey if you like a good old kick in the ass.... With an octopus if suction is your game but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all
There once was a man And his name was Prickly John And his women used to ask How he got those prickles on
And he'd give them a sigh He'd sit down on a log And say, "Well I tried my hand at buggering That spiny hedgehog!"
chorus
With a jellyfish if you love things that quiver With a wild wolf if you like raw liver.... With a bumblebee if you want it to swell With a talking parrot if you're sure it won't tell with a lemming if you like life on the edge with a wren if you hide in a hedge Or with a maneating clam if you can't afford a vasectomy.... But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all