Bless this day, Pinnacle of life, Husband joined to wife. The heart leaps up to behold This golden day.
Today is for Emma, Amy, I give you the rest of my life, To cherish and to keep you, to honor you forever. Today is for Emma, My happily soon-to-be wife.
Pardon me, is everybody here? Because if everybody's here, I want to thank you all for coming to the wedding, I'd appreciate your going even more, I mean you must have lots of better things to do, and not a word of this to Will, remember Will, you know, the man I'm gonna marry, but I'm not, because I wouldn't ruin anyone as wonderful as he is Thank you all For the gifts and the flowers, Thank you all, Now it's back to the showers, Don't tell Will, But I'm not getting married today.
Bless this day Tragedy of life Husband joined to wife The heart sinks down and feels dead This dreadful day
Listen, everybody, look, I don't know what you're waiting for, a wedding, what's a wedding, it's a prehistoric ritual where everybody promises fidelity forever, which is maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of, which is followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly he'll realize he's saddled with a nut, and wanna kill me, which he should Thanks a bunch, But I'm not getting married Go have lunch, 'Cause I'm not getting married You've been grand, But I'm not getting married Don't just stand there, I'm not getting married And don't tell Will, But I'm not getting married today.
Go, can't you go? Why is no Body listening? Goodbye Go and cry At another person's wake. If you're quick For a kick You could pick Up a christening But please On my knees There's a human life at stake!
Listen everybody, I'm afraid you didn't hear, or do you want to see a crazy lady fall apart in front of you, it isn't only Will who may be ruining his life, you know we'll both of us be losing our identities, I telephoned my analyst about it and he said to see him Monday, but by Monday I'll be floating in the Hudson with the other garbage I'm not well, So I'm not getting married You've been swell, But I'm not getting married Clear the hall, 'Cause I'm not getting married Thank you all, But I'm not getting married And don't tell Will, But I'm not getting married today
Bless this bride Totally insane Slipping down the drain And bless this day in our hearts As it starts To rain
Go, can't you go? Look, you know I adore you all, But why Watch me die Like Eliza on the ice? Look, perhaps I'll collapse In the apse Right before you all So take Back the cake, Burn the shoes and boil the rice
Look, I didn't wanna have to tell you, but I may be coming down with think I'm gonna faint, so if you wanna see me faint, I'll do it happily, but wouldn't it be funnier to go and watch a funeral, so thank you for the twenty-seven dinner plates, thirty-seven butter knives, forty-seven paperweights, fifty-seven candleholders
That we are getting married That I'm not getting married Today! Today!