[Chorus:] It's Christmas in Hollywood, Santa's back up in the hood, So meet me under the mistletoe, Let's fuck! It's Hanukkah in Inglewood, The dradles spinning in the hood, So meet me by the menorah, Let's get drunk!
Ho-ho-ho, merry Christmas!
[Chorus]
Just a little story About last Christmas, About some bad kids Who were full of wishes, We gave some gifts And we gave some lovin', The weird kind of love That you give to your cousin...
Little Timmy stole from 7-11, So we stopped by his house With a pair of sevens, We drank in his room With some dude named Kevin, But there was still some bad kids Who deserved some presents...
Zack got caught with a bottle of Jack, So we slipped down his chimney With an 18 pack, He didn't leave cookies But we needed a snack, So we took the beer back And I fucked him in the ass!
It's Charlie Scene, Got eggnog in my flask, The holidays are back And all my presents are wrapped...
-Like, oh my God, is that Saint Nick? -Kids, give me your list Like it's the 25th!
Been accused of being a bad kid, But I get presents as it is, Mrs. Clause just Myspace'd me, I blew off a date on Christmas eve!
So I don't give a fuck If you're naughty or nice, You might still get a rolly And a gang of ice, So write your list And never have no fear, Have a Hollywood Christmas And an Undead New Year!
-Fuck you! -Now watch the language, ho-ho-ho!
[Chorus]
I'm about to serve it up For for all you boys and girls, Good kids, bad and even Da Kurlzz...
We were chilling at home And decking the halls, So I checked my phone And Santa had called!
He said he'd swing by At a quarter to twelve, He said that his jolly ass Needed some help, He said Christmas ain't a gang But a way of life, 'If you guide my sleigh, I'll let you fuck my wife'
So we jumped in his sleigh And it started to jingle, Funnier than fuck, You can ask Chris Kringle, So we all took flight But something was fishy, He asked for road ahead And started to... kiss me!!
Underneath his suit Was just a bunch of pillows, Instead of bags of presents He had bags of dildos, I pulled down his beard And it was a monster, It wasn't Saint Nick, It was a fucking imposter!
When we found out, He started to pout, I took my bandanna And I choked him out, I pulled off his beard And I fucked his mouth, Hijacked his sleigh And headed down south!
I had a lot of wild nights But tonight was the craziest, Met a lot of Jeffs But this one was shadiest. When it comes to cheer, That motherfucker's a Grinch, So if you don't like Christmas, Fuck you, bitch!!
You kids are in big trouble, Oh boy, ho-ho!
[Chorus]
Woah ohhh, looks like Santa had A little to much masdfsgand eggnog...