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[Chorus:]
It's Christmas in Hollywood,
Santa's back up in the hood,
So meet me under the mistletoe,
Let's fuck!
It's Hanukkah in Inglewood,
The dradles spinning in the hood,
So meet me by the menorah,
Let's get drunk!

Ho-ho-ho, merry Christmas!

[Chorus]

Just a little story
About last Christmas,
About some bad kids
Who were full of wishes,
We gave some gifts
And we gave some lovin',
The weird kind of love
That you give to your cousin...

Little Timmy stole from 7-11,
So we stopped by his house
With a pair of sevens,
We drank in his room
With some dude named Kevin,
But there was still some bad kids
Who deserved some presents...

Zack got caught with a bottle of Jack,
So we slipped down his chimney
With an 18 pack,
He didn't leave cookies
But we needed a snack,
So we took the beer back
And I fucked him in the ass!

It's Charlie Scene,
Got eggnog in my flask,
The holidays are back
And all my presents are wrapped...

-Like, oh my God, is that Saint Nick?
-Kids, give me your list
Like it's the 25th!

Been accused of being a bad kid,
But I get presents as it is,
Mrs. Clause just Myspace'd me,
I blew off a date on Christmas eve!

So I don't give a fuck
If you're naughty or nice,
You might still get a rolly
And a gang of ice,
So write your list
And never have no fear,
Have a Hollywood Christmas
And an Undead New Year!

-Fuck you!
-Now watch the language, ho-ho-ho!

[Chorus]

I'm about to serve it up
For for all you boys and girls,
Good kids, bad and even Da Kurlzz...

We were chilling at home
And decking the halls,
So I checked my phone
And Santa had called!

He said he'd swing by
At a quarter to twelve,
He said that his jolly ass
Needed some help,
He said Christmas ain't a gang
But a way of life,
'If you guide my sleigh,
I'll let you fuck my wife'

So we jumped in his sleigh
And it started to jingle,
Funnier than fuck,
You can ask Chris Kringle,
So we all took flight
But something was fishy,
He asked for road ahead
And started to... kiss me!!

Underneath his suit
Was just a bunch of pillows,
Instead of bags of presents
He had bags of dildos,
I pulled down his beard
And it was a monster,
It wasn't Saint Nick,
It was a fucking imposter!

When we found out,
He started to pout,
I took my bandanna
And I choked him out,
I pulled off his beard
And I fucked his mouth,
Hijacked his sleigh
And headed down south!

I had a lot of wild nights
But tonight was the craziest,
Met a lot of Jeffs
But this one was shadiest.
When it comes to cheer,
That motherfucker's a Grinch,
So if you don't like Christmas,
Fuck you, bitch!!

You kids are in big trouble,
Oh boy, ho-ho!

[Chorus]

Woah ohhh, looks like Santa had
A little to much masdfsgand eggnog...

[Chorus]

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