Welcome to the land of misery Welcome to the land of Sam’s Club Botox and Vaseline Welcome to the land of the onion bloom and Vidal Sassoon It’s ok if you wanna do drugs As long as your someone that Hollywood loves The government thrives on sex and lies Every speech of peace is hatred disguised Chuck E. Cheese and Ronald McDonald Nutrition starved and our children’s role models The athletes are spoiled rotten steroid freaks Making millions playing games while others starve in the streets The church is corrupt and I hope that God’s pissed They turned the Ten Commandments into a movie script Are video games the new bread of life Was Sonic the Hedgehog more powerful than Christ “Hey boys now you can destroy third world countries And jerk off to porno like G.I. Joe” In every child’s toy box In every magazine Life is full of expectations I can never meet Life is just one long commercial that can’t sell to me I can’t be bought I can’t be sold I don’t care about cars and clothes About diamonds and gold Or which way the wind blows Racist Abe tried to save the slaves and Washington wore a wig on his head Home of the brave freedom rings equally but right now all the phones are dead “Hey girls put down that book and join Skipper at the tanning salon Now you can get skin cancer just like Barbie” In every child’s toy box On every TV screen Pop Secret Tiny Toons Mr. Wizard Fruit of the Loom Cover Girl Playboy Maxi pads Altoids Toilet Duck Kool-Aid Mr. Clean Gatorade Tae Bo Bowflex Flowbee Blistex Michael Jackson Barbra Streisand Paris Hilton Richard Nixon Bring the lawsuits motherfuckers You can all suck my big fat American dick.