Ok children quiet down, quiet down Children i'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day His name is Mr. Shady Children quiet down please Brian don't throw that.. (SHUT UP!) Mr. Shady will be your new substitute while Mr. Kaniff is off with pnuemonnia (HE'S GOT AIDS!) Good luck Mr. Shady...
(Verse 1-Eminem) Hi there little boys and girls (FUCK YOU!) Today we're going to learn how to poision some squirrels But first, i'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?) Say Hi Bob, ("Hi Bob") Bob's 30 and still lives with his Mom and he don't got a job Cause Bob just sits at home and smokes pot But his 12 year old brother looks up to him an awful alot And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot And wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock When it's late and the lot gets dark and he fakes like he walks his dog Drag 'em in the woods and goes straight to the choppin' block And even if they escape and they got the cops Ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge Till one night Miss. Stacey went off the job When she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy, an off his rocker Crazier than Slim Shady is off the locker You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a doctor He grabbed Stace by the legs, he chopped 'em off her And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her But ever since the day Stacey went off the wander They never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana And what it might do to you So see if the squirrels want it, it's bad for you
(Chorus) See children, drugs are bad And If you don't believe me, ask ya Dad And If you don't believe him, ask ya Mom She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time
So kids say no to drugs So you don't act like everyone else does And there's really nothing else to say Drugs are just bad mmm k...
(Verse 2-Eminem) My penis is the size of a peanut, Have you seen it? Fuck no you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?) Speaking of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels? Ecstasy its the worst drug in the world If someone offers it to you, don't do it Kids 2 hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid Cause spinal fluid is vital, you won't get it back So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in ya back Meet Zack, 21 years old After hanging around with some friends at a Frat party He gets bold, and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys And peer pressure will win when everytime you try to fight it Suddenly, he starts to convulse And his pulse goes into hyperdrive, and his eyes go back in his skull His back starts ta...look like the McDonald's Arches He's on Donald's carpet, laying horizontal barfin' And everyone in the apartment starts laughin' at him "Hey Adam, Zack is a jackass, look at him" Cause they took it to, so they think it's funny So they're laughin' does basically nothing Except maybe wastin' your money Meanwhile, Zack's in a coma, the action is over And his back and his shoulders, hunched up as if he was practicin' Yoga And that's the story of Zack, the ecstasy maniac So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you
(Repeat chorus)
(Verse 3-Eminem) Last but not least, One of the most humungous problems among young people today, is fungus It grows from cow manure, They pick it out, wipe it off, bag it up, and you put it right in ya mouth and chew it...Yum Yum Then you start to see some dumb stuff And