She's the woman of the year Independent, a career There's not a thing that she couldn't do She's alert, she's aware She's got legs like Astaire And a hundred fifty-seven IQ
She has several PHDs Speaks fluent Japanese And her shoes will always match with her purse And every street she's walking down Everybody turns around and says 'HELLO NURSE!'
She likes cheese and pepperoni Won a Pulitzer and a Tony She played the leading role in King Leer She never drinks, she never smokes She never laughs at dirty jokes She was ambassador to China last year
Oh, she's politically correct She'd never call collect She plays Chopin and she doesn't rehearse And when she's walking by I give a little sigh, and shout 'HELLO NURSE!'
She gets her math equations right She reads Tolstoy every night She won the Nobel prize in physics, it's true She drives a shiny new Corvette Sings opera at the Met And volunteers her time at the zoo
Oh, she won a scholarship to Yale Got a Fullbright in the mail And took a two year junior college degree She's manna sent from Heaven Too bad I'm only seven 'Cause, Hello Nurse I wish you'd take care of me!
If she's not everything that we've said Then may lightening strike us dead