In Hollywood they have a different language that they speak It's spoken by those folks who went to school for just one week It's found inside Variety, a magazine they use And no one understands it when they read the movie news
Like, Hix makes pix but the flick needs fix Means someone made a movie that bombed The veeps in charge are now at large Means everyone involved is gone
The plot conflix, no beautiful chix So it's coming out on video soon They're taking their lix 'Cause the critics say nix And the editors are gonna try to fix it in the mix
But the stock sees green on page thirteen Means Disney's up a nickel a share Stallone cuts deal for a major reel Means Rocky number six, so beware
If you want the poop or you need the scoop On Hollywood town this week You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety Speak
A boffo smash makes Warner cash Means there's gonna be a sequel next year But Paramount hurts and they're losing their shirts Means Schwarzenegger's doing King Lear
Oliver Stone does next Home Alone Means he's getting paid an arm and a leg The budget goes crunch but his name packs punch So they called up the accountants and they're gonna do lunch
Well, the ratings smile on the O.J. trial Means a movie of the week to premiere Universal cuts deal with Mister Spiel To do a hundred thousand movies a year
You gotta play it smart if you wanna be part Of the crowd that's hip and chic You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety Speak
Normal talk makes producers walk You might as well speak Greek You're gonna have to learn Or the meeting will adjourn Unless, my friend, you learn that Variety Speak