Bad News - Excalibur | Текст песни

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• Excalibur

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Den: No, it's the introduction...
Colin: Can't you take a joke? It's just a little bit of fun.
Den: It's the introduction to "Excalibur", that's what it is.
Vim: I don't think it's very funny.
Colin: Well, I thought it was funny. Just because you don't think...
Vim: I don't think you CAN be very funny about metal.
Colin: Well, I think YOU can, every time you pick up a ruddy guitar, you frightful thing!
Vim: God, I fucking hate you.
Colin: Look, it's taken us three days to tune up, can we just settle on something? Do we have to row all the time?
Vim: I've got to think of the lyrics yet.
Den: You've got lyrics for "Excalibur".
Colin: How do the lyrics for "Excalibur" go then?
Den: They go "Excalibur, my nightmare."
Colin: Well then, sing that!
Den: But that's... this is the introduction to "Excalibur".
Colin: Well then, get through the introduction and get to the main bit!
Den: That's what I'm trying to do but you keep talking all over it!
Vim: I said "Three, four"!
Den: You're meant to make noises...
Colin: He said "Three, four", that's right, I'm right with you there.
Den: You're meant to make noises of wolves and bells and all that... you've got to make all
the noises.
Colin: Oh, I see. Alright then. Alright.
Spider: Right, what are you gonna be, a wolf or a bell?
Colin: Oh, I'll be both, I don't know.
Vim: Right. Take it away. Three, four.
Spider: Are you the welf or... are you the welf or the bull... the bell?
Vim: Take it away, DEN! Three, four.
Den: I'm waiting for them to stop wanking.
Vim: Can the bell and the fucking wolf just shut up for a minute? Take it away. Three, four.
Colin: Yes, you're the wolf.
Vim: You're the wolf, yeah.
Colin: And I'm the bell.
Vim: What's the bell like, Colin?
Colin: Clang.
(Everyone collapses in hysterical laughter, except Colin.)
Colin: Is that funny, is it?
Spider: I think that's the funniest thing I've ever heard!
Vim: It's fuckin' hilarious!
Spider: Go on then, clang again!
Vim: Well, it's not a bell, is it? Bells don't go "clang", that's just a word people
invent...
Colin: Oh! Oh, how odd! I thought that bells did go "clang". Of course, bells go "vroom vroom",
don't they? Or perhaps they go "moo!" In my book bells go "clang", now leave me alone!
Vim: No! They actually go, "dunnnngggggggg......"
Colin: No, that's cow poo.
Vim: It's not fuckin' cow poo!
Colin: It is! Dung is cow poo. Bells go "clang". Alright then, I'll go "ting". "Ting-a-ling".
"Tinkle". Tinkle, that'll do, won't it?
Den: Well, just think of a.. of a groovy sound effect. Can't you get into it, Colin? Have you got a problem getting into stuff?
Vim: Can you do an owl, then?
Colin: Yes.
Vim: Go on then.
Spider: Day seventeen. Things aren't going quite as well as we'd hoped.
Colin: Woooooo....
Den: That's good. That'll do.
Vim: That's alright, yeah.
Den: Right. So you let the music go for a few bars, and then you bring them in all subtly.
Vim: Well, I think we need more effects than just a bloody wolf and an owl.
Colin: Oh look, we'll just... let's start.
Den: Yeah, but we've taken three days just to get them.
Colin: Let's just start...
Vim: But a wolf and an owl isn't very heavy, is it?
Colin: Oh, shut up, Alan, shut up! Be constructive! We're supposed to be a pop group, not a lot of... ruddy collection of...
Den: Right, that's it, I'm going.

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