http://www.metallyrica.com/lyrica/bad_news/bad_news.html Den: No, it's the introduction... Colin: Can't you take a joke? It's just a little bit of fun. Den: It's the introduction to "Excalibur", that's what it is. Vim: I don't think it's very funny. Colin: Well, I thought it was funny. Just because you don't think... Vim: I don't think you CAN be very funny about metal. Colin: Well, I think YOU can, every time you pick up a ruddy guitar, you frightful thing! Vim: God, I fucking hate you. Colin: Look, it's taken us three days to tune up, can we just settle on something? Do we have to row all the time? Vim: I've got to think of the lyrics yet. Den: You've got lyrics for "Excalibur". Colin: How do the lyrics for "Excalibur" go then? Den: They go "Excalibur, my nightmare." Colin: Well then, sing that! Den: But that's... this is the introduction to "Excalibur". Colin: Well then, get through the introduction and get to the main bit! Den: That's what I'm trying to do but you keep talking all over it! Vim: I said "Three, four"! Den: You're meant to make noises... Colin: He said "Three, four", that's right, I'm right with you there. Den: You're meant to make noises of wolves and bells and all that... you've got to make all the noises. Colin: Oh, I see. Alright then. Alright. Spider: Right, what are you gonna be, a wolf or a bell? Colin: Oh, I'll be both, I don't know. Vim: Right. Take it away. Three, four. Spider: Are you the welf or... are you the welf or the bull... the bell? Vim: Take it away, DEN! Three, four. Den: I'm waiting for them to stop wanking. Vim: Can the bell and the fucking wolf just shut up for a minute? Take it away. Three, four. Colin: Yes, you're the wolf. Vim: You're the wolf, yeah. Colin: And I'm the bell. Vim: What's the bell like, Colin? Colin: Clang. (Everyone collapses in hysterical laughter, except Colin.) Colin: Is that funny, is it? Spider: I think that's the funniest thing I've ever heard! Vim: It's fuckin' hilarious! Spider: Go on then, clang again! Vim: Well, it's not a bell, is it? Bells don't go "clang", that's just a word people invent... Colin: Oh! Oh, how odd! I thought that bells did go "clang". Of course, bells go "vroom vroom", don't they? Or perhaps they go "moo!" In my book bells go "clang", now leave me alone! Vim: No! They actually go, "dunnnngggggggg......" Colin: No, that's cow poo. Vim: It's not fuckin' cow poo! Colin: It is! Dung is cow poo. Bells go "clang". Alright then, I'll go "ting". "Ting-a-ling". "Tinkle". Tinkle, that'll do, won't it? Den: Well, just think of a.. of a groovy sound effect. Can't you get into it, Colin? Have you got a problem getting into stuff? Vim: Can you do an owl, then? Colin: Yes. Vim: Go on then. Spider: Day seventeen. Things aren't going quite as well as we'd hoped. Colin: Woooooo.... Den: That's good. That'll do. Vim: That's alright, yeah. Den: Right. So you let the music go for a few bars, and then you bring them in all subtly. Vim: Well, I think we need more effects than just a bloody wolf and an owl. Colin: Oh look, we'll just... let's start. Den: Yeah, but we've taken three days just to get them. Colin: Let's just start... Vim: But a wolf and an owl isn't very heavy, is it? Colin: Oh, shut up, Alan, shut up! Be constructive! We're supposed to be a pop group, not a lot of... ruddy collection of... Den: Right, that's it, I'm going.