Colin Zeal knows the value of mass appeal He's a pedestrian walker, he's a civil talker He's an affable man with a plausible plan Keeps his eye on the news, keeps his future in hand
CHORUS: Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again He's pleased with himself, he's pleased with himself He's so pleased with himself, ah ha
While sitting in traffic, Colin thinks in automatic He's an immaculate dresser, he's your common aggressor He's a modern retard with a love of bombast Keeps his eye on the news, doesn't dwells on the past
REPEAT CHORUS (x2)
He's a modern retard, he's terminal lard He's an affable man, with a carrotene tan Because Colin Zeal's ill Colin Zeal's ill Colin Zeal's ill