Bonzo Dog Band - Big Shot | Текст песни

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I am the Big Shot.
You heard me right the first time. Name of batchelor Johnny Cool. Occupation: Big Shot. Occupation at the moment: just having fun. What a party that was - the drinks were loaded and so were the dolls.

I narrowed my eyes and poured a stiff Manhattan. Then I saw... Hotsie. What a dame. A big, bountiful babe in the region of 48-23-38. One hell of a region. She had the hottest lips since Hiroshima: I had to stand back for fear of being burned.
Whiskey wow wow. I breathed. She was dressed as before the bed. In that kind of outfit she could get rolled at night... and I don't mean on a crap table.

It's kind of revealing, isn't it? Revealing? It's positively risqué - I like it. She said: "You're a man with a thousand Gs, right?"
[J:] "A thousand what?" I quipped. "G-men, girls, guns, guts."
[H:] "You're my type."
[J:] "Wrong, baby" I slapped her hard. "I'm a `L' man: strictly liquor, love and laughs."

She stared over my shoulder: "Play it cool, Johnny." Play it what? I flipped. "Listen, I fought my way up from tough East Side New York. Lead-filled saps and sub-machine guns, like this." [gunshots]

She said: "Johnny, this is a deadly game, have a few laughs and go home." I shuddered. Normally I pack a rod in pyjamas - I carry nothing but scars from Normandy beach. I said "Wrong, baby, you can't fool me." She spat playfully. "I'm ahead of you, Johnny." I studied the swell of her enormous boobs and said: "Baby, you're so far ahead it's beautiful."

[H:] "You, you are, you are eccentric, I like that."
[J:] "Electric cheri, bounce off my rocket[?], tout comprende?" We spoke French fluently. Our lips met again and again. "Yeah, yeah yeah" I slobbered. Hotsie said: "You're slobbering all over the seat, kid."

I went home late. Very late. What could I say to my wife? "Darling, I've been beaten up again." Let's face it: she's credulous as hell.

A punk stopped me on the street. He said "Have you got a light Mac?"
I said: "No, but I've got a dark brown overcoat."

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