Soundtrack: By Jeeves Title: What Have You Got To Say, Jeeves?
BERTIE What have you got to say, Jeeves? What have you got to say?
JEEVES Sir -
BERTIE Your job's to protect me and to cushion me from shocks Not to let the poor young master end up crouching in a box Leave him posing as a coatstand there, the minute someone knocks No, somebody's got to pay, Jeeves Somebody's got to pay
JEEVES If you would allow me, sir -
BERTIE Threatened with a lynch mob and I lose my oldest friends I'm embroiled with random females bent on dire romantic ends Yours is frankly not a judgement, Jeeves, on which a chap depends It's bordering on risque, Jeeves Utterly declasse...
JEEVES If I might -
BERTIE Your job's to inspire me with encouragement and praise Not abandon me with Stiffy in some frightful leafy maze Not to make me change my name three times in just as many days Here I am in an extreme position General Custer out of ammunition Didn't get here by my own volition As Tennyson once thundered Someone here has badly blundered
JEEVES Sir -
BERTIE It's chaos and disarray, Jeeves Misery and dismay
JEEVES Perhaps if i could interr -
BERTIE Calling this a shambles is to understate the case Look at all these banjo lovers, not a dry eye in the place I shall never have the nerve again to look them in the face So what have you got to say, Jeeves? What have you got to say?
JEEVES I fear I must confess it, sir Despite my best endeavours to Ensure a fluid narrative Things haven't gone to plan Evens were overtaken, sir By unseen technicalities I really can assure you, though I've done the best I can There comes the odd occasion, sir When facing up to destiny We'd do as well as well remembering A man is but a man You have my firm assurances That come the grand denouement, sir Events will all resolve themselves In spite of come what may I only can apologize For any inconvenience Injurious to your dignity That happens on the way I simply wish to emphasize I have your interests uppermost And that, sir, in conclusion, sir Is all I have to say