cabin pressure 02/03 - Boston | Текст песни

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• cabin pressure 02/03
• Boston

Non-vegetarian option. I didn’t know you for very long, Mr. Lehman, but I’ll always remember you as a shouty man. You loved to shout. Shout and smoke. Those were your twin passions. And so, in a way, I suppose you died doing what you loved: shouting and smoking and covered in foam. I don’t know if you liked that. You probably didn’t. Still. Goodbye. Rest in peace. Thank you for flying MJN Air!

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MARTIN: D’you think we’ll make it in time?

DOUGLAS: Remember how I didn’t know three minutes ago? No new information has come in since then.

MARTIN: Right. [sighs]

DOUGLAS: You all right?

MARTIN: Yeah. It’s just, you know, it hasn’t been a great trip, has it? And I think possibly I made a few – well, I didn’t exactly – I’ve got this interview when we get back – if we get back in time, which I doubt, and I just wondered if, as a captain, as… things – [sighs] I mean, I only ask because, of course, you were a captain for a while, and I just wondered if – I mean, this is a bit difficult, but – could you give me some advice?

DOUGLAS: Well, the main thing is, you’ve got to stop asking for advice.

MARTIN: Great, thanks.

DOUGLAS: That’s okay. You can start as soon as I’ve given you mine. You’re the captain, Martin. And one of the many excellent things about being captain, along with the irresistible sexual magnetism and first crack at the cheese tray, is that you’re always right. So by all means, take opinions, but remember: You don’t have to listen to Carolyn. You don’t have to listen to ATC. You don’t even – and savor this because I shall never say it again – you don’t even have to listen to me. You’re the boss. What you say goes.

MARTIN: Yes. Yes, you’re right. Okay. Thank you. But, er, Douglas?

DOUGLAS: What?

MARTIN: Simon says, ‘could you give me some advice?’

DOUGLAS: [groans] Well done.

MARTIN: My turn! My turn!

DOUGLAS: All right. Tell me when you’re ready.

[Silence]

DOUGLAS: Simon says, ‘tell me when you’re ready.’

MARTIN: I’m ready.

DOUGLAS: Come again?

MARTIN: I’m ready – oh!

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ARTHUR: Goodbye! Thank you for flying MJN Air. Goodbye! Thank you for flying MJN Air. Goodbye! Thank you for flying MJN Air. Goodbye! Tha – oh, that’s it. Hold on, Mum!

DOUGLAS: And we’re all finished at the pointy end with a cheeky little twelve minutes in hand before we go out of hours.

CAROLYN: Great! Well… The paramedics are back there in the galley with Mr. L., so as soon as they’re ready –

[Curtains pushed aside]

CAROLYN: Oh, speak of the devils. Well, the angels.

PARAMEDIC: Are you Carolyn Knapp-Shappey?

CAROLYN: Yes.

PARAMEDIC: Did you call up an ambulance and crew, Ma’am?

CAROLYN: Yes, I did.

PARAMEDIC: And why did you do that?

CAROLYN: Why? Well, because, I – well, I mean, look at him.

PARAMEDIC: We are looking at him, and we’d like to know what you expect us to do with him?

CAROLYN: I have to tell you, I really don’t mind. Once he’s off my plane, as far as I’m concerned, you can let your imagination run wild.

PARAMEDIC: Ma’am! He’s dead. He’s been dead for some time. We are an emergency service. This guy: not so much an emergency.

CAROLYN: Well, what am I supposed to do? Carry him to the hospital over my shoulder?

PARAMEDIC: Ma’am, you need to contact the coroner’s office. They’ll send out a vehicle.

CAROLYN: When?

PARAMEDIC: I dunno. When they can. You just give them a call tomorrow morning. See when they can do.

CAROLYN: Tomorrow morning?

PARAMEDIC: Yeah. They’ll be all closed up now.

CAROLYN: So what are we supposed to do? Just leave him here until they’re ready for him?

PARAMEDIC: Absolutely not!

CAROLYN: Good!

PARAMEDIC: You’re gonna need to remain in attendance.

CAROLYN: What? What – w–w–we can’t! We can’t!

MARTIN: Just one moment if you please.