A miser old once hid his gold beneath a ruined tree. My girl and I we set out to try and find that L.S.D. The lightning flashed, the thunder roared, the wind it blew and the rain it poured. As we searched for the miser’s hoard under the blasted oak.
My girl said "I feel damp, I’ve got the creeps, and I’ve got the cramp." Standing here without my gamp under the blasted oak. That miser was wiser than ever I could be, He blessed himself then he blessed his wealth, but he put a curse on me I dug around the fungus plants, bitten by a million ants And a swarm of bees settled down my pants under the blasted oak.
I said we’ll share equal shares, she caught my hand and I caught her's A mad bull caught me unawares under the blasted oak. My pants were torn fore and aft. I got wild when my girl laughed. And said, "I’ll bet you feel a draught under the blasted oak."
That miser was wiser than ever I could be, He blessed himself then he blessed his wealth, but he put a curse on me While searching for that L.S.D. a flock of pigeons in the tree Soon showed me what they thought of me under the blasted oak.
Suddenly a silence fell, a ghost appeared, and I gave a yell. I said "That miser’s here as well under the blasted oak." Then that ghost all dressed in white said as he hugged my girl tight, "It’s turned out nice again tonight under the blasted oak." That miser was wiser than ever I could be, He blessed himself then he blessed his wealth, but he put a curse on me To prove that ghost was just a cheat, I gently lifted up his sheet And kicked him in the dark retreat under the blasted oak.