LET'S KEEP THE SCREAMING AND THE FIGHTING AND THE CRYING TO A MINIMUM AND IF THE KITCHEN DON'T WORK WE CAN FIGHT IN THE LIVING ROOM YOU TRY TO HURT ME WHEN YOU SAY YOU'LL FIND ANOTHER DATE AND MEMORIES OF ME WILL FADE AWAY YOU TRY TO HURT ME AND DENY THAT I WAS AN OK GUY AND I'M JUST LEFT HERE WONDERING WHY
(CHORUS) MY GIRL IS CALLING ME MY GIRL IS CALLING ME A LIAR MY GIRL IS CALLING ME A JERK
(YOU JERK!)
YOU'VE GOT TO REALIZE THESE WERE NOT REAL LIES I WAS NOT TRYING TO HIDE THE FACTS IT'S THE TRUTH THAT'S IN DISGUISE SEE WHAT YOU FAIL TO SEE IS IT WASN'T A FANTASY BUT LITTLE BY LITTLE ALL THE PAINS AND THE PRESSURE JUST GOT THE BEST OF ME
(CHORUS) MY GIRL IS CALLING ME MY GIRL IS CALLING ME A LIAR MY GIRL IS CALLING ME A JERK
(YOU JERK!)
D: I SHOULD CALL PEE RIGHT NOW. P: HELLO? D: SHE DOESN'T LISTEN TO A SINGLE WORD I SAY. P: JUST GIVE THE GIRL SOME TIME AND SHE WILL COME AROUND YOUR WAY. D: MAN, I AIN'T GOT TIME TO WASTE AND I'M TIRED OF FIGHTS. P: YOU'VE GOT TO BE PATIENT WITH THE WOMAN OF YOUR LIFE. D: LOOK. I TRIED TO TELL HER BUT SHE'S CUSSING ME OUT! P: JUST TAKE HER TO THE MOVIES AND YOU'RE GONNA WORK IT OUT. D: THAT'S IT? P: YUP. D: REALLY? ALRIGHT THEN, GOOD NIGHT PEE. P: GOOD NIGHT.