When Santa comes with dollies In his sleigh up in the sky He's always fat and jolly Did you ever wonder why? Don't you wonder how he got That great big shaking belly? I'll tell you a big secret: It's not from toast and jelly
It's not from too much milk and cookies Left by the fireplace grid No, Santa eats, Santa eats, Santa eats little kids
That's how he lives forever To do his yearly giving Santa's one of the undead Who must feed on the living I s'pose he could eat grownups too But children are so sweet And one week working at the mall Gets a year's supply of meat
C'mon, admit deep down inside You always knew he did Santa eats, Santa eats, Santa eats little kids
Oh, what a perfect cover, Santa really scored What other job could give him such a varied smörgåsbord? He's always very picky when a child sits in his lap He pokes and prods to see how much is lean and how much fat And when he finds the biggest one, a tender fat pork chop He says, "I've got a special gift for you in my workshop" Then he'll put you in the oven, in your juices you will baste and when he says you're bad or good, he's referring to your taste
You are looking at me as if none of this is true Well, I'm your older brother (satanic voice:) Would I lie to you? Don't bother asking Mom and Dad, 'cause they're in on the deal They've been fattening you up since Easter for Santa's Xmas meal
So on Christmas Eve you'd better keep your little butt hid 'Cause Santa eats, Santa eats, Santa eats little kids