Thank you for the flowers I threw them on the fire And I burned the photographs that you had enclosed GOD they were ugly children So you're the little bastard of that brother of mine Trying to trick a poor old woman 'Til I almost had a weakness Last week Cousin Florence Bit your Uncle Joe Hit him on the forehead with a knife and a fork (She) said that he looked like the devil Then she said... ";pass the vinegar,"; I'm beginning to think (That) I'm the only one who hasn't taken to the drinking of it Though I almost had a weakness It pains me to mention These delicate concerns While I have to tolerate you family jewels I really mustn't grumble ('Cause) when I die the cats and dogs will jump up and down And you little swines will get nothing Though I almost had a weakness