Peter: On Monday I had drinks with Barney Rubble We hit a couple divy little bars We noticed there was quite a lovely lady Sitting at the table next to ours Now Barney, who was pretty friggin' wasted Got up and stumbled over with a groan He said: "Hey, just between us, my neanderthalic penis is as massive as a stegosaurus bone!
All Cartoons are fuckin' dicks They get their kicks from being pricks It's a quirk, we just can't fix 'Cause all cartoons are fuckin' dicks
Meg: Did Barney really say that? Peter: Oh, yeah! He is a bastard. Lois: Wow! Peter: An-And he really does not give a damn about the feelings of women! Ah, aah.. it's Sad! It's really sad... Brian: Well you think that's bad, listen to this
One day I met an ape of great charisma Magilla the Gorilla was his name He wore a little hat and matching bowtie A fashion witch has brought him great acclaim I said: "What do you see as your career-peak? Of all your many flashy escapades. He said: "Well this is funky, but you're looking at the monkey who s responsible for bringing you the AIDS.
All Cartoons are fuckin' dicks They get their kicks from being pricks It's a quirk, we just can't fix 'Cause all cartoons are fuckin' dicks
Peter: So he s the cold prick? Stewie: I say that is just awful! Lois: Okay, okay! Listen to this little gin
I had a conversation at a party With famous Rabbit Hunter Elmer Fudd He told me I just had to see his rifle And dropped it at the table with a thud I said to him: It s quite a lovely firearm. He told me his fianc? likes it to He said: This maybe corny but it really gets me horny when I press it to her temple while we screw!
All Cartoons are fuckin' dicks They get their kicks from being pricks It's a quirk, we just can't fix 'Cause all cartoons are fuckin' dicks
Peter: Aw, God! That is one sick bastard! Stewie: Euw, you re not kidding? Brian: Yeah, that eeh that stuff s kinda against the law to, I think. Chris: Well, I got one that s even worse than that
On Friday-night I went to get some candy Some soda and some chips and other stuff Along the way I passed a little alley And there I saw that K-9 called McGruff I said to him: Hey! You re that famous crime dog! He said: I only work from nine to five! And now it s close ten-ish and I got a job to finish cause as you can see this hooker s still alive!
All Cartoons are fuckin' dicks They get their kicks from being pricks It's a quirk, we just can't fix 'Cause all cartoons are fuckin' dicks
Meg: That s awful! Stewie: Uh! Imagine McGruff beating up hookers! Peter: He is a dick He is a DICK! Stewie: Yes, yes! He s a nasty Cartoon, but I can top that Listen to this!
One day as I was strolling through the forest I happened on some mushroom covered turf And there from underneath a patro-fungus Emerged the one and only Papa Smurf He said: This is our secret mushroom village! I said: Then I m the first to see these views? He said: I m only kidding, cause we only keep it hidden from the Asians, Adams, Faggots, Blacks and Jews!
All Cartoons are fuckin' dicks They get their kicks from being pricks It's a quirk, we just can't fix 'Cause all cartoons are fuckin' dicks
Lois: That Papa Smurf sounds like a monster! Stewie: Oh, he s a dirty, nasty racist and a bigot and homophobe, and do you know what I did when I got home? Brian: What? Stewie: I called up Gargamel and I told him where the village is!
[LAUGHTER]
Peter: That s sweeeeet Meg: Can I go next? Lois: Of course, sweetie! Meg: