Now everybody gather 'round and listen if you would When I tell you every person needs a way of feeling good Every kitty needs a ball of string and every dog a stick But all you need is a bag of weed to really get a kick One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed Oh, Everything is better with A Bag of Weed It's the only hope that you'll ever need Cuz' Everything is better with A Bag of Weed When Texas people want to feel good, They go assault a queer. When stupid people need a thrill, They rent The Rocketeer. When Michael Jackson needs a rush, He humps a guy like me. (Right!) But all we need is a bag of weed, To keep us worry free. One, Two, Three, HO! A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed Oh, you don't need meth and you don't need speed Cuz' Everything is better with A Bag of Weed As Mr. H.L. Mencken said, "The common man's a fool." And just like Helen Keller said, "Doof stoo gee nay foo tool." But try and use your heads and don't buy into all the fear. 'Cuz all we need is a bag of weed To make us wanna cheer! And One, Two! A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed You can try and fight but we're all agreed Because everything is better with A Bag of Weed A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed You're a happy guy when you plant the seed Because everything is better with A Bag... Of... Weed! Oh ev'rything is better with a bag of weed!!