You’re no one if you’re not on Twitter And if you aren’t there already you’ve missed it If you haven’t been bookmarked, retweeted and blogged You might as well not have existed
In the old days it was all about achievements Collecting all your trophies in a shrine Then everybody came across the internet And suddenly you had to be online
A home page was all you really needed To seem like a success but not a geek As long as you updated semi-annually And checked your email once or twice a week
You’re no one if you’re not on Twitter…
Technology was moving rather quickly And the next thing you needed was a blog With intimate and detailed press releases And now and then a photo of your dog
More recently the students brought us Facebook And everybody has a hundred friends The parties in the photos look amazing They’re not so great but everyone pretends
You’re no one if you’re not on Twitter…
Now you need to publish every movement And every single thought to cross your mind I’m told the Twitterverse is full of rubbish But most of us are actually quite refined
We validate each other’s insecurities And brag about the gadgets that we’ve bought We laugh out loud at every hint of jolliness And try to self-promote without being caught