John Finnemore - Cabin Pressure - S01 - E02 - Boston | Текст песни

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• John Finnemore
• Cabin Pressure - S01 - E02 - Boston

Boston (S01E02)

Synopsis: On a flight to Boston, a disagreeable passenger has a medical emergency.

Favorite quotes:

"Don’t fly into anything I wouldn’t fly into!" - Tower
"Your seatbelt fastens like this, and unfastens like this. An invaluable lesson there for any of you who have never been in a car." - Carolyn
"It’s always trouble when we’re gentlemen; I prefer it when we’re imbeciles." - Martin
"Well, anything you say five times is obviously true." - Douglas
"Rest in peace. Thank you for flying MJN Air!" - Arthur

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Full transcript under the cut!

CAROLYN: Your seatbelt fastens like this, and unfastens like this. An invaluable lesson there for any of you who have never been in a car. In the very unlikely event of an emergency landing, your inflatable safety jacket is under your seat, and that is precisely where I recommend it stay, given that the largest body of water between here and Luton is an open-air swimming pool in Daventry. Finally, please keep your mobile phones switched off for the duration of the flight. Obviously, they have no effect whatsoever on our navigational equipment, or we wouldn’t let you have them. But, they drive me up the wall. Thank you, and enjoy your flight.

[credits]

[beep]

MARTIN: Fitton approach, this is Golf Echo Romeo Tango India climbing to six thousand feet, left turn, direct Luton.

TOWER: Okey-dokey, have fun.

MARTIN: Carl…

TOWER: *sighs* Roger, Golf Tango India.

MARTIN: Thank you.

TOWER: You’re welcome. Don’t fly into anything I wouldn’t fly into.

[disconnecting]

DOUGLAS: Post-takeoff checks complete.

MARTIN: Thank you Douglas. Could you balance the fuel, please? [pause] Douglas, the fuel?

DOUGLAS: Sorry, Captain, can’t help you.

MARTIN: *sighs* Simon says, “Could you balance the fuel?”

DOUGLAS: By all means. You know, you can give up anytime you like. It’s been six trips.

MARTIN: No, I can get you. Besides, I want another go. I know I can do better than last time.

DOUGLAS: What, even better than, “’Shall we play Simon Says, Martin?’ ‘Okay, I’ll go first, Douglas.’ ‘Tell me when you’re ready, Martin.’ ‘I’m ready Douglas. Ah!’” I don’t know, Martin, you set the bar punishingly high.

CAROLYN: [entering] Ah, gentlemen.

DOUGLAS: Oh dear.

CAROLYN: What?

MARTIN: It’s always trouble when we’re gentlemen; I prefer it when we’re imbeciles.

DOUGLAS: Or dolts.

MARTIN: Dolts is good, yes.

CAROLYN: No, this is good news! I have another job for you.

MARTIN: We’ve already got another job this week.

CAROLYN: Indeed you have, so stand by for another-nother job. The fine people at Algonquin Charter Air have excellently grounded a Gulfstream at Luton, which leaves them with a whole parcel of cross Americans who aren’t in America but would like to be. And guess who’s making their dream come true? Our very own selves.

MARTIN: We can’t do it.

CAROLYN: We can do it, we will do it, and we are doing it. Does that answer your question?

MARTIN: It wasn’t a question, Carolyn, it was a statement. The Istanbul trip is Thursday night.

CAROLYN: I know. We get back Thursday morning.

MARTIN: But we have to have twelve hours rest between trips.

CAROLYN: I know, because you are lazy, lazy pilots. So, we get to Boston Wednesday morning, twelve hours break, fly home Wednesday evening, arrive Thursday morning, twelve hours break, off to Istanbul, perfect.

MARTIN: But I’ve got my EasyJet interview on Wednesday afternoon.

DOUGLAS: Ah, well, EasyJet, easy go.

CAROLYN: You can still do that. I don’t care what you do in your twelve hours; you can sleep or try to sneak away from my company like a sniveling rat; it’s all the same to me.

MARTIN: Douglas, help me out here.

DOUGLAS: Ahhh, nice try