It starts with one word. One word to upset delicate nerves. The insecurities of my life. To the end of my core. To the bottom of myself. The shamefulness of hiding behind special education door rooms. But I got my whole life to lead. I'm still breathing at the bottom. But I wish it wasn't mine. Been force to pretend to wear a grim smile. It's been eating me up for years and years. Trying to play catch up. But I always see the dark side of things. I told you a thousand times I said I'm fine. Suffer in rhyme to the blinding rage. Suffer in rhyme it goes on and on. Disability pulls the strings in my head. Word by word and it's fitting in my skin. The worst part of me is actually all of me. What would I give to be normal. To get my head on straight. It makes me feel how small I really am. Just a crooked arrow. Why cant I screw my head on straight. Taking things far too seriously. It goes deeper in the bone. I've given it too much control. All I see is the fear expecting ahead. Surfeited of being corrected. By the world around. But we speak in different tongues. And I remember. To wear my wounds. And I refuse. Refusing to heal.
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