I don't care if it Rains or freezes As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus Ridin' on the dashboard Of my car
Through my trials And tribulations And my travels Through the nation With my plastic Jesus I'll go far
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car I'm afraid He'll have to go His magnets ruin my radio And if I have a wreck He'll leave a scar
Ridin' down the thoroughfare With a nose up in the air A wreck may be ahead But he don't mind
Trouble comin' He don't see He just keeps his eye on me And any other thing that lies behind
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Though the sunshine on His back Make Him peel, chip and crack A little patching keeps Him up to par
With my plastic Jesus Goodbye and I'll go far I said with my plastic Jesus Sitting on the dashboard of my car
When I'm in a traffic jam He don't care if I say damn I can let all my curses roll
'Cos Jesus' plastic doesn't hear 'Cos he has a plastic ear The man who invented plastic Saved my soul
With my plastic Jesus Goodbye and I'll go far I said with my plastic Jesus Sitting on the dashboard of my car
An if I weave around at night Policemen think I'm very tight They never find my bottle Though they ask
'Cos plastic Jesus shelters me For his head comes off you see He's hollow and I use him like a flask
Woa Woa Woa
Save me
I don't care if it's dark or scary Long as I got magnetic Mary Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel that I'm protected amply I've got the love of the whole damn family Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
With my plastic Jesus I said goodbye And I'll go far
And I said with my plastic Jesus I said sittin' on the dashboard of my car
When I'm goin' fornicatin' I've got my ceramic Satan Sittin' on the dashboard of my car Women know I'm on the level Thanks to the wide-eyed stoneware devil Sneerin' from the dashboard of my car