crawling under my skin, ruin me with the contagion as my chapped epidermis is sloughed off in flakes of black, leprous, parasitic emotions which threaten my future self force myself to believe in this idea, this falsehood, this imaginary truth: 'i have love to give' i have nothing, it binds my decaying cellular structure in grotesque quasi-human form i will never know peace i am a fool crush my bones and smear my guts over miles of sun-baked concrete teach me the final lesson so that i may stop the chaos a bullet passes through my skull the exit wound opens to a brighter day the curse is lifted and i am free from my addiction to the unattainable blood stains washed away crime scene cleared evidence tagged and filed self-termination is a dream perpetually incomplete and never to be realised the dream of holding hands under a blue sky perpetually awakening to the fact that i am a piece of shit.